#15: Uncivilized Juice

This week the word of the day is “Clithridiate”. While we get our drink on, we talk about Catholic Bullshit, Curt Schilling going broke with 38 Studios, SpaceX, A man who is actually a woman, super heroes, DivX, and we insult Mark Zuckerburg!

Holy Narcotic Notes!

UNCIVILIZED BEHAVIOR

WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!:
– last week of kid’s school (til next year), and uneventful-ness
– josh Juice n voice acting! Will continue to bitch about the heat.

WORD OF THE DAY:

-Clithridiate- Key-hole-shaped

Riffle:

– Catholic Bullshit http://news.yahoo.com/popes-butler-arrested-vatican-leaks-scandal-154717974.html

SPONSOR: Cocktails with Punch!

MEDIA MONEYSHOT:
–  Curt has no Schillings http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/early-lead/post/curt-schillings-38-studios-lays-off-entire-staff-amid-financial-woes/2012/05/25/gJQA6WLHqU_blog.html?wprss=rss_sports

Raffle:

– SPACE?!
WTF;
– Man, Woman, What?! http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/man-admitted-hospital-kidney-stone-discovers-hes-woman-110057308–abc-news-health.html

MISSED CONNECTIONS:

 

Need advice on breaking up


Date: 2007-11-17, 7:55AM CST



I need a way to say the following items but in a way that she will understand:

1. Your intelligence is on par with the domestic ass.

2. Wear clothes that fit you.

3. When you are sleeping you saw logs so loudly that my neighbor complained to me about it.

4. Get out and exercise you lazy cow.

5. If you are stopping by to pick me up to go somewhere get off your no good ass and walk to the apartment instead of sitting in your car out front and honking the horn.

6. The only thing we have in common is that we enjoy being intoxicated on Friday night.

7. Why can’t you get the point when I told you that the only reason I asked you out in the first place was because I already had four shots of tequila.

8. You cough so loudly my floor shakes when you do it… Are you going to cough up some unknown life form out of that lung? Is that why you are shaped like a damn watermelon?

9. I stopped calling you. I stopped coming over to your place. Why can you not take this as a hint?

10. Sex is horrible with you. I definitely wouldn’t of hit that if I was sober at the time. There are fat flaps around your cooter. You have to make the Moses parting the red sea movement to move this camel-toe-esque fat lobs out of the way to get the job done.

11. You cannot get the hint when I say this isn’t working you keep calling and showing up. What the hell is wrong with you???

12. I have hit on other girls in front of you… Ones that are actually attractive and you still cling to me.

13. I find it really retarded that you think that it is perfectly acceptable to drive around a car with no insurance and without a drivers license.

14. Why don’t you try to drag yourself out of white trashiness?

15. Oh yeah, one last thing, why do you think it’s acceptable to go the bar every night, don’t get me wrong I love going on the weekends, maybe one night in the week occasionally (If I had a bad day at work), but every goddamn night? Are you seriously trying to be a freakin drunk???

Anyone got any advice on communicating these views to this girl so that she will comprehend them please for the love of God and all that is holy and right in the world please tell me how to pound this into her oversized and under-developed head!!!

 

The Greatest Craigslist Car Ad Ever’

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Riff to the Raff:
– Supah Heroes

GET FRENCHED:
– DivX around 1998 by Jerome Rota

INSULT OF THE WEEK:
This one goes out to…… Mark Zuckerberg! Put this one in your timeline asshole! You are quite possibly the least interesting piece of shit I have ever had the displeasure of seeing… and I ate taco bell recently. You think you are big stuff the way you strut around like a peacock. But you have about as much flair and “pizazz” as a brick. I know that you think that all fackbook user’s are “dumb fucks” but let me tell something to you, you penis swizzling fucker. You can go kill yourself as far as I am concerned… to finish succinctly… FUCK YOU!!!

NOSTRA-DUMBASS PROPHECIES:
Jerry-
Josh-

Plugs :

JERRY “Drippy Britches” JONES:

JOSH “Sloshy” MUSSER:

 

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Outro:
Happy Endings!