#15: Uncivilized Juice

This week the word of the day is “Clithridiate”. While we get our drink on, we talk about Catholic Bullshit, Curt Schilling going broke with 38 Studios, SpaceX, A man who is actually a woman, super heroes, DivX, and we insult Mark Zuckerburg!

Holy Narcotic Notes!

UNCIVILIZED BEHAVIOR

WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!:
– last week of kid’s school (til next year), and uneventful-ness
– josh Juice n voice acting! Will continue to bitch about the heat.

WORD OF THE DAY:

-Clithridiate- Key-hole-shaped

Riffle:

– Catholic Bullshit http://news.yahoo.com/popes-butler-arrested-vatican-leaks-scandal-154717974.html

SPONSOR: Cocktails with Punch!

MEDIA MONEYSHOT:
–  Curt has no Schillings http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/early-lead/post/curt-schillings-38-studios-lays-off-entire-staff-amid-financial-woes/2012/05/25/gJQA6WLHqU_blog.html?wprss=rss_sports

Raffle:

– SPACE?!
WTF;
– Man, Woman, What?! http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/man-admitted-hospital-kidney-stone-discovers-hes-woman-110057308–abc-news-health.html

MISSED CONNECTIONS:

 

Need advice on breaking up


Date: 2007-11-17, 7:55AM CST



I need a way to say the following items but in a way that she will understand:

1. Your intelligence is on par with the domestic ass.

2. Wear clothes that fit you.

3. When you are sleeping you saw logs so loudly that my neighbor complained to me about it.

4. Get out and exercise you lazy cow.

5. If you are stopping by to pick me up to go somewhere get off your no good ass and walk to the apartment instead of sitting in your car out front and honking the horn.

6. The only thing we have in common is that we enjoy being intoxicated on Friday night.

7. Why can’t you get the point when I told you that the only reason I asked you out in the first place was because I already had four shots of tequila.

8. You cough so loudly my floor shakes when you do it… Are you going to cough up some unknown life form out of that lung? Is that why you are shaped like a damn watermelon?

9. I stopped calling you. I stopped coming over to your place. Why can you not take this as a hint?

10. Sex is horrible with you. I definitely wouldn’t of hit that if I was sober at the time. There are fat flaps around your cooter. You have to make the Moses parting the red sea movement to move this camel-toe-esque fat lobs out of the way to get the job done.

11. You cannot get the hint when I say this isn’t working you keep calling and showing up. What the hell is wrong with you???

12. I have hit on other girls in front of you… Ones that are actually attractive and you still cling to me.

13. I find it really retarded that you think that it is perfectly acceptable to drive around a car with no insurance and without a drivers license.

14. Why don’t you try to drag yourself out of white trashiness?

15. Oh yeah, one last thing, why do you think it’s acceptable to go the bar every night, don’t get me wrong I love going on the weekends, maybe one night in the week occasionally (If I had a bad day at work), but every goddamn night? Are you seriously trying to be a freakin drunk???

Anyone got any advice on communicating these views to this girl so that she will comprehend them please for the love of God and all that is holy and right in the world please tell me how to pound this into her oversized and under-developed head!!!

 

The Greatest Craigslist Car Ad Ever’

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Riff to the Raff:
– Supah Heroes

GET FRENCHED:
– DivX around 1998 by Jerome Rota

INSULT OF THE WEEK:
This one goes out to…… Mark Zuckerberg! Put this one in your timeline asshole! You are quite possibly the least interesting piece of shit I have ever had the displeasure of seeing… and I ate taco bell recently. You think you are big stuff the way you strut around like a peacock. But you have about as much flair and “pizazz” as a brick. I know that you think that all fackbook user’s are “dumb fucks” but let me tell something to you, you penis swizzling fucker. You can go kill yourself as far as I am concerned… to finish succinctly… FUCK YOU!!!

NOSTRA-DUMBASS PROPHECIES:
Jerry-
Josh-

Plugs :

JERRY “Drippy Britches” JONES:

JOSH “Sloshy” MUSSER:

 

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Outro:
Happy Endings!

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#6: Gay Porn Isn’t Gay (Yes it is)

This week we have a special guest, Andrew Dryden from Voice Acting Radio, in place of Thoren during his absence. Our word of the day is Interfenestration and we talk about Valentine’s Day, exterminating bugs, Josh’s WYR’s, the gayest things we’ve ever done, our special missed connections, dumb ass inventions, and we insult Road Cyclists. Overall, I believe we’ve found out more about each other than we ever cared to know…

Notes for Nancys:

UNCIVILIZED BEHAVIOR
Ep. 6

Intro

How was your week?
-Super Bowl (and commercials)
-Business & clumsiness
-Andrew’s new Vita

WORD OF THE DAY:
-interfenestration- The space between two windows

Riff Raff the first
-Valentine’s Day
-Stuffy nose
– Exterminating

SPONSOR: Cocktails with Punch!

WOULD YOU RATHER:
– Would you rather have sanders pressed against your bare nipples for 10 minutes on high
OR
Have your nutsack weedwacked for 10 minutes with fresh wackers.

– Drink a full cup of sweat collected from the fattest, hairyest gooch on earth that hasn’t been washed in a month
OR
suck the gritty thick puss out of a back zit the size of your fist.

– Grind your teeth on gravel for a 1/4 mile
OR
let a roach lay eggs in both of you ears.

– Shave your finger and toe nails off with a razor blade
OR
Grate your elbows and knees with a cheese grater down to the bone.

– Get ass raped by a rhino horn
OR
stick a white hot needle in your dick hole.

RIFF to the RAFF:
– Snow: People’s reactions
– Gayest thing you’ve ever done
– Camel Boy

MISSED CONNECTIONS:

-Children’s guillotine- Looking to get rid of this children’s size guillotine, only used once. Has been cleaned and recently oiled, sure to make any child happy!


-I GOT SOMEONES DEAD GRANDMOTHER IN URN

SHE WAS IN A STORAGE LOCKER NONE OF HER FAMILY WANT HER, SO IM OFFERING HER TO YOU AT A DISCOUNT PRICE, ASHES ARE STARTING TO LEAK FROM BOTTOM, I DID DROP HER,

I ALSO GOT HER PHOTOS
SHE WAS APROX 67 YEARS OLD, 170 POUNDS, 5’7
THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST PIECE OF ASH YOULL EVER GET
I GOT TO DO SOMETHING WITH HER NO FUNERAL HOME WILL TAKE HER,
THIS WILL BE GREAT FOR HALLOWEEN
SHE IS IN A BLACK URN APROX 10″ HIGH X 5 X 5 WITH BRASS PRAYING HANDS
GREAT PIECE FOR YOUR MANTAL
YES YOU CAN SELL ANYTHING DEAD AS LONG AS YOU DIDNT KILL THEM
A FRIEND OF MINE JUST SOLD A SKULL ON E-BAY

-condoms and door knobs

I have 750 kiss of mint condoms that expired in 3/2004. I have 750 lubricated colored condoms that expired in 9/2006. They are no longer safe for pregnancy prevention but do have several other uses. They make great water balloons, safe sex educational tools, balloon animals etc… What you do with them is your business but I strongly advise that you do not use them for pregnancy prevention. They have been properly maintained in air conditioned and lighting controlled conditions. They should be ok for use but to be on the safe side I would not use them for sexual purposes. That being said if you want them let me know and we can arrange a pick up. I also have 11 door knobs. I recently replaced them and have no use for them now. If anyone has any use for either the condoms or the door knobs penis butt me know.

WTF:
http://weirdthings.com/2012/02/authorities-detain-man-claiming-to-be-resurrected-folk-singer-as-fans-flock/

Rickity Riff Raff:
– 4 chan

– Dumb ass inventions

– Still Hating the French

INSULT OF THE WEEK:

Road Cyclists- this goes out to you! I hate you and your inability to find a place to ride your fucking bikes someplace other than where I am trying to drive my automobile. You and your skin tight spandex that shows every last nuance of your ass need to get out of the way. I have better things to do than search my conscious and see whether or not I can handle vehicular homicide charges on my record. So here’s a suggestion go find a fucking mountain or public park to ride your stupid ass $300 bike in or on and stay out of my fucking way. In case you are not getting the message, let me make it abundantly clear… FUCK YOU!

Plugs:
-Jerry butt plugs
-Faggoat Plugs

-Josh Plugs

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Outro:
Goodbyes and Surprise