#10: Vending Happiness

This week we return from Spring Break to some awesome Uncivilized Behavior, including new segments and special guest, Vendy, while we hunt for a new third host! In this episode, the word of the day is “Pandiculation”, we talk about weird music moods, a dead uncle, diet soda, venture capitalism, lickable wallpaper, screaming like a bitch, getting older and we insult fan girls!

NOTES!!!!
UNCIVILIZED BEHAVIOR

WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!:
– Dryer Repair!, going national?
– Birfday
– Abortion/Periods

JOSH SINGS?

WORD OF THE DAY:

– pandiculation- Stretching and yawning before going to bed or after waking up

Riffle:

– Weird Music Moods
– Fan Girl Story
– Death of a loved one

SPONSOR: Cocktails with Punch!

WOULD YOU RATHER!:





Raffle:

– Ditching diet soda
– Newgrounds, Venture Capitalism, indie VS Corporate
– Siren

WTF:

– Lickable Wallpaper http://www.geekologie.com/2012/04/spreading-disease-cookie-flavored-lickab.php

MISSED CONNECTIONS:
Seeking pious individuals for the coming rapture on May 22nd, 2011 – m4mw

Date: 2011-05-10, 7:43AM CDT

I am an atheist seeking friends who are pious and who will be wisked away for the rapture that kirk cameron says is coming may 22nd 2011. I will take care of your pets while you are gone. I am a very kind and loving person who loves animals. Also i get to keep all your stuff because you won’t need them as you will be in rapturous bliss basking in the love of the great creator. I, however, will need your stuff since I will be trapped here on earth with all the rest of the unclean, deniers, and cravens. I will probably try to barter all your worldly possessions for guns or food or maybe women. Unless you have a truck and a cowcatcher. I will keep those and make a killmobile which will greatly increase my chances for survival in a world with no rules and no god.

no weirdos please.

Time Travel

Date: 2010-09-24, 10:09AM MDT

I have a functioning time machine (i know it sounds unbelievable, but I assure you it works) that I need a 2nd person to operate with me.
I’m looking for someone who is adventurous and reliable. Preferable a male; or a female that can do heavy lifting.
I am leaving on September 30th, 2010, in the morning and plan to return October 2nd, 2010. I am going to June 1983 to handle some business.
If you are serious about time travel and are reliable, then please contact me. You do not have to pay anything, but you would have to provide someone to watch my cat for the time we are gone. The only qualifications needed are that you are reliable and that the circumferance of your head is no more than 64cm.

We will be leaving from Bozeman, MT. Let me know if you want to go with me.

Did we hook up at the Megadeth/Motorhead concert? – w4m

Date: 2012-04-09, 3:41PM CDT

Me: Blue hair, silver tube top, fishnets, Knee high black biker boots.
You: Red mohawk, black pentagram gauges, viper piercings.

I was grinding on you in the pit, then we went to the bathroom, and got fucked up. You had a nice cock and I was wasted so I let raw dog it in the stall.
You were really good and you had to gag me so I would make too much noise.

Anyway I’m pregnant. It’s yours. contact me if you want to be part of your child’s life.

Lost Shark

Date: 2012-03-13, 8:53PM PDT

Lost my shark today. Actually he escaped when I inadvertently gave him an opportunity. Had the back door open to cool the place off while he was hanging around. Made the mistake of opening the front door briefly and he shot out the back door. Tried to catch him while he swirled in a vortex above the deck, but the strong winds took through the trees and north. Last seen gaining altitude in a 20 knot breeze heading north of Ballard. Neighbors looked perplexed as he flew over their house. If you find him warm him up so he doesn’t sink. It was quite the sad sight to see him get smaller and smaller as he blew away to the north.

I am black lady in naperville need help from racist terrorists

Date: 2012-03-13, 4:17PM CDT

I am black lady in naperville, illinois 60540 being bullied and assaulted by racists terrorists. I am looking for a bodyguard help me to fight them.

— I have found out what is happening to me and somewhat why. It seems that someone reported me to authorities as a threat and they have been using big brother bully tactics to snoop, pry and spy on me. However, they came up with nothing and went away empty. However, they left me and my life in complete turmoil. Now, at this point I seeking litigation rather than a bodyguard. I lost my job and I even found evidence of a spycam in my apt. I could not find it physically but I did detect the bluetooth address; i have copy of printscreen, smart huh? and traced it to Samsung. Naperville knew about this and did not help me. in fact, I was left for dead because I had od’d on medicine and they knew it and did not give treatment. I wish someone with some power could help me … I am willing to go to a news media with story if they can figure out entire epsisode for me. They put out some comprising pictures of me to provoke me into doing something stupid so they could arrest me for something and save face. The day in question the fbi, tsa and a lot of ppl was there and I am only one lonely black lady living in an all white community. I lost my job at DirecTV and I need help!!!!!!! I have no one to turn too!!!

Does President Obama know that americans are being attacked by and destroyed by the government? How do I get my story to him? I do not have any help yet and I fear for my life from his cabinet of elected officials. How can I get the word to him? before it is too late?

PS: IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME YOU KNOW WHERE TO START!!! I LIVE IN NAPERVILLE, IL 60540 MY NAME IS ERICA — I AM HORRIFICALLY TERRIFIED FOR MY LIFE BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEY SCREWED UP.

Riff to the Raff:
– Bitch screams (babeh?)
– Getting younger?
– Getting Older?

GET FRENCHED:
– Neon lighting- Georges Claude 1910…

INSULT OF THE WEEK:

This one goes out to…… Fangirls

Fuck you and your incessant NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII sounds as you proclaim your love and/or obsession to your chosen object of affection. While you probable 13 year old girls stand right next to your TV and rub your nipples in your fantasy boyfriend’s mouth, I’m outside living in reality. Go to your room and rip down all of your vampire knight posters (DON’T STOP TO HUMP YOUR OTAKU PILLOW!) then change your hentai vagina juice stained panties that you’ve kept on for a week, then go get some real friends. If you don’t stop your bullshit, I will stick pocky into every orifice of your body until you bleed every ounce of your ramune tainted blood onto the floor. In short…. FUUUUUUCCCCCKK YOU!

PREDICTIONS BY PRICKS:
Jerry-
Josh-
Vendy- Raptor Jesus will thrust from the ground and eat the legs of Arnold Schwarna- however the hell you say that German name, fuck it.

Plugs :

JERRY “Surely diseased” JONES

VENDY “Might be a Nazi” MACHINE:

JOSH “Fire Crotch” MUSSER:

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-Tell Your Friends!
Outro:
Extrie Extrie!

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